List of Episodes
Batman vs. Punisher
Conflicting Ideals
Episode 002
Batman vs Punisher BR
Air Date: February 2nd, 2017
Animator: DJ.Dino


Previous Episode: White Ranger vs. Leonardo (Season Premiere)
Mewtwo VS BlackWarGreymon

     Batman vs. Punisher is the second episode of Battle Royale, and the second episode of the zeroth season, pitting Batman from DC Comics against the Punisher from Marvel Comics.


It's the Dark Knight vs. the Armed Marine Officer! In this brawl between vigilantes of the night, who will win? Is it better to spare opponents or kill them before they can do further harm? There's only one way to find out...!


(Cue: Title Sequence - Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS & Wii U)

Rick: "The death penalty. One of history's more... controversial subjects. We as humans have asked this age-old question - do even the worst criminals deserve to perish? And where is the line drawn between justice and brutality? When it comes to Marvel Comics against DC Comics, these two vigilantes of the night have completely different meanings for the word 'justice'."

Manny: "I'm Manny, and I'll be researching Bruce Wayne, the Batman."

Chelsea: "I'm Chelsea, and I'll be researching Frank Castle, the Punisher."

F.A.C.T.S.: "I am the Fight Analysis and Conclusion Tolerance Software, or F.A.C.T.S. for short, and I will be determining the victor with their research taken into account."

Rick: "And I'm Rick Rocker, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is Battle Royale!"


(Cue: Theme Song - Batman (1989) )

Manny: "Gotham City. Probably one of the worst cities to exist, being honest. I mean, there's criminal lunatics running around, somebody gets murdered at least once a week, and the coffee shops there are just abysmal!"

Rick: "But at least the rent is cheap."

Manny: "A city like this needs a guardian, a hero, but no one will be crazy- I mean, heroic enough to actually rectify these issues. All except for one man - the Batman!"

A lightning strikes.

Manny: "Being a crime-fighting machine, Batman carries a wide arsenal, most of which he made himself, including the Batara-"

(Music stops)

Rick: "Aren't you forgetting something, young man?"

Manny: "Do I really have to do this? It's Batman! Everyone knows who Batman is!"

Rick: "Hey, it's an unwritten rule that all debate shows must go over the backstories of their combatants!"

Chelsea: "Where does it say that at?"

Rick: "I just said it's an unwritten rule!" (sighs) "Manny, just do it!"

Manny: "Okay, fine! Bruce Wayne had rich parents and one day they went to an opera and decided to take a shortcut home through a dark alleyway, which turned out to be a bad idea because some criminal shot his parents and they're dead now, and he grew up vowing to stop crime, learned how to kick ass and became Batman. The end."

Rick: "Ehh. It'll pass."

(Music returns)

Chelsea: "Except you obviously mean he became one of the most overrated superheroes ever. I mean, oh wow, he's a guy that dresses up like a bat! That's only because he's insanely rich... and is conventionally attractive... plus he's rather good at fighting... and has an awesome six-pack... plus his parents are dead, so there'll be no in-law..."

Rick: "Chels."

Chelsea: "Wait, um, huh?"

Rick: "Save the drooling for your own character, okay?"

Chelsea: "Oh, right... sorry..."

Manny: "...Okay? Despite being the goddamn Batman, Bruce realized he'd rather not murder his opponents, seeing that as a crime-fighter for good, executing criminals would only serve to make him just as corrupt as the felons who he takes into custody."

Chelsea: "He can't muster up the guts to kill people? That's... pretty courageous... and heroic and... w-well, i-it obviously means he's gonna lose!"

Manny: "Uh, Bruce designed most of his toolset, most of them designed to be non-lethal, but still give him the advantage in an encounter. He's got plenty of gadgets, but don't worry, we'll only be focusing on his most prominent ones, and avoiding stuff like the shark-repellant and, uh... mm, the Bat-credit card."

Batman: "Never leave the cave without it."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Manny: "Batman wears a hand-crafted utility belt around his waist to carry around most of his gadgets. This belt has a 50,000 volt taser that is connected to the rest of Batman's suit, and it will automatically shock anyone who tries to remove Batman's mask. Among Bruce's arsenal are his Batarangs, a series of foldable throwing weapons that he always carries a stash of. There's tons of different Batarangs that Bruce can use, such as the explosive, remote-controlled, electric or acid ones. However, the best ones out of the bunch are the Nth metal Batarangs, which are made of the strongest and most durable material in the DC universe. With just two standard Batarangs, he was able to break a sword made of Damascus steel!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "Damascus steel has been used since the third century due to it's incredible resilience. A sword made out of this material would take about 40,000 PSI to break."

Manny: "Aside from the Batarangs, Bruce can use many other tools, such as grappling guns, sound grenades, gas pellets and foam pellets. The foam pellets are filled with a strange substance that hardens in a couple of seconds. With his liquid nitrogen capsules, he's able to freeze all sorts of things, even intangible beings like the Ghost Soldier."

Rick: "The Ghostbusters movies would've been a hell of a lot shorter if they had ghost-freezing capsules, too!"

Chelsea: "What about this oh-so-famous Batsuit everyone can't shut up about?"

Manny: "What would you know, I was just about to talk about that. The Batsuit has been through many redesigns over the course of its existence, but it's most consistent attribute is that it's made out of layers of assorted metals and kevlar, making it completely bullet-proof."

F.A.C.T.S.: "A common misconception. Kevlar is bullet-resistant, but not bullet-proof. Kevlar disperses the energy of impact throughout the entire pack. Depending on the type, speed and size of the bullet, the kevlar may have varying degrees of success. The wearer may still suffer injury just from the impact alone."

Chelsea: "Ha! So much for immunity for bullets, huh?"

Manny: "Bleh! Whatever? The Batsuit has much more up its sleeves than you would think. It comes with a pair of bladed gauntlets and nerve-killing gloves, which Batman can use to permanently disable the victim's nerves. With his cape, Batman can glide through the air for long periods of time, and that too is capable of easily blocking bullets. And in case he's fighting against mystical entities, the Batsuit possesses an energy rejecting system, which can deflect magic lightning."

Rick: "Damn! This guy is like a human Swiss army knife! Is there anything he doesn't have?"

(Music stops)

Chelsea: "Parents."

Rick: "...Now that was just mean..."

(Cue: Theme Song - Batman: The Brave and the Bold)

Manny: "Without using his gadgets, Batman is no stranger to close quarters combat. He's an expert in over 127 different martial arts, making him an unpredictable foe."

F.A.C.T.S.: "Considering Bruce's age and his life as a CEO, it would mean that he masters at least three martial arts every year. This may not seem impressive at first, but most martial arts take five to ten years to fully master."

Manny: "Which brings us to his intelligence, arguably his most famous attribute. Bruce is one of the best tacticians in the DC universe. He also wrote a detailed guide on how to defeat every member of the Justice League. Mind you, that the Justice League has some of the most powerful heroes in fiction, from the speedy Flash to the invincible Superman."

Chelsea: "Pssh. I know how to beat Superman. Just use kryptonite weapons! That should do the trick."

Rick: "Hold on a second, Chels. This isn't about Supes. Let's not talk about him until the first episode of Debate or Debunk."

Manny: "You're seriously plugging our other shows during my analysis?"

Chelsea: "Try and lighten up, lil' bro. Go on."

Manny: "Are you being nice to me...?"

Chelsea: "Shut up and move on!"

Manny: "Fine, fine, fine."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Manny: "Not only is Batman capable of leg-pressing 2,500 pounds, he has supported the weight of two identical sarcophagi at the same time!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "Judging by the size of the sarcophagi and comparing them to those shown in real life, I can determine that each sarcophagus weighs three tons. This confirms my calculations stating that Batman can hold six tons at once."

Manny: "He punched through several layers of solid brick like it's glass, supported the weight of a skyscraper, bent the barrels of firearms as they were firing, overpowered several metahumans including a Venom-enhanced Bane, and split a motorcycle in half with a single kick! In terms of speed and reactions, Batman's no slouch either. He outran a building-wide explosion, when said explosion had already damaged him. He both dodges and blocks bullets, and if he's feeling a little cocky, he'll just punch them out of their trajectory."

F.A.C.T.S.: "In layman's terms, not only can Batman react to the bullet being fired, but he can also move faster than it can reach him, clocking his speed and agility to over three times the speed of sound."

Rick: "You sure he's a human?"

Chelsea: "Believe it or not, he is. One well-placed bullet is enough to send him with mommy and daddy."

Batman (voice clip from Monty Python and the Holy Grail): "I'm not dead!"

Chelsea: "That... makes no sense."

Manny: "Batman is a tough nut to crack. He's tanked bullet wounds, building-piercing explosions, impalement, and a bubble bath in a tank full of acid! And once, while suffering from sleep deprivation for a week, he survived getting impaled through the spine and still defeated the attacker with relative ease!"

Rick: "Wow. I think someone at DC Comics doesn't know what human limits are."

Manny: "Batman's feats aren't all just about his physicality. He snuck into multiple LexCorp buildings, Areas 51 and 52, and any place you can think of that has supposedly impregnable defenses. Oh! Oh, this isn't important, but he destroyed a helicopter by throwing a ski racket at it!"

Rick: "...Wha-"

Manny: "The less you think about it, the more sense it will make."

Chelsea: "Bruce may have plenty of feats, but some of his accomplishments are from weeks, months, even years of prep-time, which isn't allowed here. And don't forget that with how varied and insane his arsenal might be, it's mostly meant to cause as least amounts of casualties as possible. A clever opponent can use those non-lethal philosophies against him, and if Bruce is taken advantage of, that could very well be his own undoing."

Rick: "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're both forgetting his biggest weakness. Frank Miller."

(Music stops)

Manny: "Oh yeah..."

Chelsea: "Yeah..."

Batman: "I am vengeance! I am the night! I am Batman!"


(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Chelsea: "Frank Castle, formerly known as Frank Castiglione, was born in New York to a family of Sicilian descent. He enlisted in the United States Marine Corps when he was young enough to fight in the Vietnam War, where he received countless acknowledgements due to his incredible achievements as a soldier. After four years of serving in the US Marines, he was able to return to his home, with his beloved wife and children."

Rick: "Oh no! My tragic backstory senses are tingling!"

Chelsea: "One fateful day, he was going on a walk with his family in Central Park, until they stumbled upon some mobsters who were in the middle of murdering someone. In fear that they would testify against them, the mobsters attacked his family and ran away. Frank was the only survivor. Frank had been deeply scarred after witnessing his family get gunned down in front of his eyes. After seeing how the police were affiliated with the mafia, he felt completely useless. This uselessness plagued him to the point where he even tried to commit suicide! But thankfully, he had a change of mind, and the very people who were affiliated with his family's murders made one hell of an enemy. With the help of a friendly detective buddy, Frank armed himself to the teeth with top-class weaponry, and decided to take care of criminals in the correct way, when no one else would. On that day, Frank Castle died. On that day, the Punisher was born!"

Rick: "THAT is how you present a character's backstory. Not your half-assed attempt at covering Batman, Manny."

Manny: "Gee, thanks, Rick! I'd like to see you doing better..."

Chelsea: "Let's get started, shall we?"

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Chelsea: "If you've been living under a rock for the past decade, Punisher is thousands of times more armed to the teeth than your average Floridian native. The Beretta 92FS Inox is a double-action, semi-automatic pistol made of stainless steel with an effective range of 50 meters! Or 160 feet. This gun has been heavily praised by its versatility and accuracy. He also carries a Smith & Wesson Model 66 revolver. While not as versatile or precise, it can sure pack quite the punch."

F.A.C.T.S.: "For quick and repeated damage, Castle can use the MAC-11, a submachine gun with a fire rate of twenty bullets per second and a muzzle velocity of 980 feet per second, just below the speed of sound. For a slightly slower but stronger weapon, he can use the M16A3 assault rifle, which can fire in automatic and semi-automatic modes."

Chelsea: "Punisher also has several heavy-hitting guns, like the Mossberg 590, a pump-action shotgun that can blow away all sorts of foes, the Barrett M95, a bolt-action sniper rifle with a range of 1,800 meters, the M134 minigun, an extremely fast machine gun capable of firing up to 6,000 rounds per minute, and last but certainly no least, for extreme destruction-"

Rick: (extremely quickly) "The M72 Law is a rocket launcher with a badass name that unleashes explosions powerful enough to destroy tanks" (normally) "Sorry, I got a bit excited there..."

Chelsea: "Okay. Well, you're not wrong."

Manny: "Do you really think just a bunch of guns would be able to take down the Caped Crusader?"

Chelsea: "Ha! As if! This could potentially be an issue for Frank, if it wasn't for the fact that there's so much more to his arsenal than peashooters. He, too, has kevlar body armor, with metal plated designed to stop rifle rounds. On it, he's drawn a skull, with the intention of scaring enemies away. Because heaven knows the I will not pick a fight with someone who has a skull on his chest. In addition, he has a variety of combat knives for close quarters combat. For more explosive options, Frank has grenades, remote-triggered bombs, and pumpkin bombs. As odd as it sounds, the pumpkin bombs were built to destroy the enemy's hiding spots by generating heat that scorches at a rate able to melt steel beams!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "Manufactured steel is stated to melt around 1,370 degrees Celsius and 2,500 degrees Fahrenheit."

Chelsea: "Not impressed yet? Frank's Satan Claws are Nazi gauntlets, capable of generating electrical currents. And that's paired with an amplified force that would punch through armor like it was swiss cheese! And, I kid you not, the Punisher has web-shooters like Spider-Man!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "Punisher's version of the web-shooters can fire webbing with an estimated tensile strength of 120 pounds per square millimeter, which is roughly equivalent to 4 megapascals."

Chelsea: "Sweet! How strong in that in comparison to other materials?"

F.A.C.T.S.: "That would be five times... weaker than human skin."

Manny: "Hahahahaha! Sucks to be you! You're telling me even a normal human can tear through it?"

Chelsea: "Whatever! Speaking of shared arsenals with other superheroes, there's something else that the Punisher has. Think of it as... a sort of trump card. Thanks to Ant-Man's Pym Particles, he's able to shrink down to the size of an ant."

Manny: "Wait, what? How's that a trump card? It seems more like a burden to me. Like, all you need to do is step on him. He's the size of an atom, right?"

Chelsea: "Well... not really. Even though his size decreases, his strength remains a constant. And considering Punisher can go fisticuffs with characters with super-strength like Spider-Man or Captain America, snap bones with ease, and break a pair of steel handcuffs with brute strength, it only makes him that much more difficult to fight."

F.A.C.T.S.: "To put the longevity of handcuffs into perspective, a standard pair of handcuffs takes approximately two tons of force to break. That is the weight of a large car."

Manny: "Cool beans and all, but from what I'm getting at, Punisher is just some brute with a lot of guns. Whoop-de-doo. Hell, if I wanted to, I could become the Punisher! All I need to do is to get a hold of a bunch of guns and steal weapons from other superheroes! I would have to find a workaround for the whole family-parent thing. I think mom would get mad if I killed Chelsea, and stole F.A.C.T.S., and then killed Rick..."

Chelsea: (While Manny is mumbling in the background): "While Manny's off in his own little land, I think I should let you all know that Punisher didn't get his name from being a traumatized gunslinger. The dude has some serious training under his belt. Frank Castle is an expert martial artist, having completely mastered five styles: Nash Ryu jujutsu, ninjutsu, Shorin-ryu karate, Hwa Rang Do, and Chin Na. He's also trained himself to handle extreme conditions, scenarios and beatings. And boy does it show."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Rick: "Care to elaborate for the audience?"

Chelsea: "...I'll get to that later. Anyhow, Frank is more famously known for his weapons. Let the record show that there is no weapon manufactured by human-king that Frank isn't somewhat familiar with. This skill also plays off nicely, since he's a former US Marine. So no big surprise, he's a master marksman. He's able to take out foes with head and heart shots from three to thirty yards away!"

Rick: "But what's a marksman without firearms?"

Manny: "Hawkeye...?"

Rick: "...Getting away from whatever Manny called that, Frank's done some amazing things, huh?"

Chelsea: "You bet he did. He's killed a bull with a single whack of a wooden plank, broke bones, like, every day, and held his own against the likes of Wolverine, Captain America, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Rhino, and even the Incredible Hulk! Pretty impressive for a human."

Manny: "Care to enlighten us about this supposed resistance to extreme conditions or what have you?"

Chelsea: "Shush, shush, shush. I was getting there. The Punisher has built himself over the years to survive harsh conditions, if the time ever called for such. During his fight with Daken, he got slashed and impaled all over his body, and still managed to keep on fighting. And when he was fighting the Sentry, he got punched through a building so hard that the whole thing nearly caved in, but Frank remained relatively unscathed. Let's not forget the fact that he tanked a point-blank grenade explosion."

F.A.C.T.S.: "M67 grenades - standard grenades in their own regard - boast a kill radius of five meters. Being able to survive an explosion at the distance Frank was at the time of detonation means Frank was able to survive forces that may vary from 4,148 newtons."

Manny: "Meh. I bet it's just an outlier."

Chelsea: "Your social life's an outlier..."

Manny: "Huh?!"

Chelsea: "Luckily, Frank doesn't always need to tank attacks. He's actually pretty fast! He often dodges bullets almost effortlessly, and is capable of keeping up with Spider-Man, who's able to dodge light-based attacks thanks to his Spider-Sense, and Daredevil, who can react to attacks in micro-seconds!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "This would mean that he can equally fight someone whose brain can process events at 820 times the speed of sound."

Manny: "However, just like Batman, he needs to take some time to plan out his strategies and load out for a mission, so unpredictable foes might get to him. Plus, him body armor doesn't cover a lot of skin, and being made of kevlar, it can still be weakened with enough impacts."

Chelsea: "Yeah, but even without prep-time, Frank's been able to hold his own against people who would otherwise outclass him."

Pictures of Frank fighting Hulk and Wolverine are shown on screen.

Chelsea: "Frank is a gunslinging, neck-breaking, justice-serving human, that would go to any length to ensure that-"

(Music stops)

Rick: "Hold on. F.A.C.T.S., zoom in on that Wolverine scan."

The Wolverine scan fills the screen.

Rick: "Oh my god! He shot him in the dick!"

Chelsea: "...And he ran him over with a steamroller."

Rick: "Not cool, Frank. Not Cool."

Manny: "Guess you could say that it was a dick move! Eh? Eh?"

Rick: "Get out. Now."

Thug: "No really! I give up!"

Punisher: "And then what? Get some weaselly lawyer? Spend a year or two in prison and then you're back on the streets again? Sorry. In this world, there is no surrender."

Thug: "Help me! Please, somebody help me!"

Pre-Battle Edit

(Cue: Waiting Room - Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS & Wii U)

Rick: "Interesting stuff indeed. These two comic giants are about to face off in a no-holds-barred beatdown and deciding between killing or sparing. Will Batman's non-lethal approach to justice be enough to stop Punisher and his destructive array of weaponry? Or can the Punisher clip this bat's wings before it's all over? Feel free to pause the video before we get started to gather your thoughts."

F.A.C.T.S.: "Fight analysis complete! I have concluded the most likely out of thousands of possible scenarios and I've arranged a visual interpretation of the research."

Rick: "Then you know what that means... It's Showtime!"

The BattleEdit

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

On a rooftop in a dark city, a criminal runs away. A helicopter hovers above the building, throwing a rope-ladder down to the criminal. Just as he gets to the ladder, a man aims a pistol at him and fires - and the criminal falls dead. The shooter walks towards the laying body, revealing the assaulter to be none other than the Punisher. Frank reloads his pistol, and suddenly looks backwards - just in time to spot a bat-shaped boomerang flying towards him. Frank catches it.

Punisher: "Alright. Whoever you are, show yourself!"

The man who threw the boomerang jumps out of the shadows, revealing his black cape and cowl - that man is Batman.

Batman: "Stand down. Let the police handle him."

Punisher: "The police? Please. Those donut-eating idiots will put him in a cell. He deserves worse!"

Batman: "Criminals or not, no one deserves to lose their life over senseless vengeance."

Batman takes a fighting stance, as the helicopter flies away.

Punisher: "You idiot! You let them get away! Now you're going to pay for helping them!"

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Punisher aims his pistol at Batman, and fires. Batman backflips out of the bullet's path.

Batman: "Time to teach you humility."


Frank takes out his assault rifle and opens fire at the Caped Crusader, who blocks all of the bullets with his cape. When the rifle runs out of ammo, Bruce rushes forwards and delivers a punch to Frank's face, followed by a hook. Frank, in return, headbutts Batman and kicks him away. Bruce falls some distance away and quickly gets up, only to gets blown away again by Punisher's shotgun. As Frank aims forwards, a grappling hook is shot at his waist and he gets pulled forwards, to Batman. When Punisher arrives, Batman hits him with an uppercut to the chin, launching him away.

Frank gets up, but gets hit with an upwards double axe handle from Batman, who continues his assault with a kick that send Frank back. Frank takes out a combat knife and sprints towards Bruce, delivering a jumping slash. Batman dodges out of the way, but Punisher throws the knife at him, and it embeds in his shoulder. Frank uses his web-shooters to immobilize Batman, then takes out his rocket launcher and fires.

(Music stops)

When the explosion clears away, there's a giant hole where Batman used to stand. Punisher wastes no time and jumps downs it.

- - -

It is very dark inside the building - almost to the point of complete blindness. The silhouette of Batman is running, as the silhouette of Punisher is shown shooting with his submachine gun. Batman runs, dodging the bullets, then suddenly stops, turns around and throws a Batarang. At the same time, Punisher throws a grenade at his opponent. The Punisher manages to shoot one last round from his pistol before the Batarang whizzes past him, drawing blood and grounding him. Batman tries to escape the grenade's blast radius - but his efforts are in vain, and he gets hit by the explosion.

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

When the smoke settles, both combatants are on the floor. Bruce is the first to gets up, needing to catch his breath. Suddenly, Frank advances towards him with a red gauntlet - the Satan Claw. Batman signals the 'bring it on' motion, and walks forward. The two meet in the middle of the room, and both deliver a powerful punch - and their fists collide, creating a crater in the floor. Punisher backs up, and Batman follows him with an elbow jab and an upwards-aiming double axe handle. Bruce follows with a kick to Frank's abdomen. Frank presses a button, and shrinks down with his Pym Particles.

Batman sprints to where he once stood, but Punisher is already the size of an insect. The tiny Punisher jumps up to Batman's face, Satan Claw electrifies and ready, and punches Bruce's face with it. Bruce is paralyzed from the electricity running all through his body, and catches his breath again. Frank uses this opportunity to aim his gun at Bruce's head.

Punisher: "Give it up. You have nowhere left to hide. This battle is over."

Batman makes a quick arm motion, looking like he is throwing something at the ground... before Punisher pulls the trigger.

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Batman is nowhere to be seen, only leaving behind a pool of blood.

Punisher: "Damn, Bat!"

Suddenly, capsules under Frank's legs go off, exploding into smoke that makes Frank cough a little. He shoots in all directions, but hits no one. Just when he stops firing, a bat-shaped cowl appears behind him...

Batman: "You are right about one thing. This battle is over."

Batman then punches Punisher's skull-adorned chest, using the nerve-killing function to stun him, then palm-strikes him away. Frank lands on the floor and gets up... but this was a trap; he stands above liquid nitrogen capsules, about to detonate. The liquid nitrogen releases from the capsules freezes Punisher solid.

Punisher: "I... can't... move..."

Batman: "There's electrical impulses running through you body. Compound that with the capsules to freeze you in place and the obvious is made clear... YOU. CAN'T. MOVE."

Flashbacks of the fight on the rooftop play in the background.

Batman: "That little stunt you pulled with the rocket launcher has already alerted the local authorities to this building. I could leave you here and let the police find you themselves. However, I'm feeling generous tonight."

Batman slowly advances towards the frozen Punisher.

Batman: "Allow me to show you the door."

Batman winds up, and then kicks the Punisher out of his frozen shell - and out of the building. Frank falls through the wall, and then down, to the street, and to the police, ready to arrest him as soon as he hits ground level.


As the sirens howl in the background, Batman is standing on a rooftop - then vanishes with a lightning strike.


(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Manny: "Looks like Frank just got punished! ...Get it? 'Cause he's the Punisher."

Rick: "Yeah, we got it."

Chelsea: "At least the one who is objectively more attractive won."

Manny: "You're... You're not salty?!"

Chelsea: "Nah. How could I be with a stud like him?"

Rick: "Well then. F.A.C.T.S.?"

F.A.C.T.S.: "Results right here, bro."

Rick: "Thank you. When looking at the basics, these two were pretty evenly matched. Both of them are fast enough to dodge bullets and tough enough to take on superhumans and keep on fighting, even after dome fatal beatdowns. Bruce had an advantage in strength due to supporting the weight of a skyscraper, and Frank had a speed advantage due to being able to tag a speedster, but this fight didn't just come down to who was tougher, and the Dark Knight took it in just about every other category where it mattered most."

Manny: "That's right. Let's start with skill. Frank's a grizzled Vietnam veteran with war training, and Batman was trained by ninjas or whatever, but Bruce managed to master 127 martial arts, leaving no question in who would win in a mono-e-mono fistfight. In terms of intelligence, there wasn't even a contest. Don't get me wrong, Frank is a tactical genius in his own right, but that doesn't change the fact that 90% of his strategies tend to boil down to 'go in, guns blazing' or 'beat them in fisticuffs'. Batman's a master of using the environment to his advantage, taking a more calculative approach to most scenarios, even in scenarios without prep-time!"

F.A.C.T.S.: "The Punisher's greatest advantage here was an arguably more lethal arsenal. He did have some counters to Batman's armor and stealth. His Pym Particles and Claw are prime examples. But as a whole, Batman's arsenal, despite being non-lethal, was more varied, and made him too unpredictable a foe for the Punisher to read immediately. The Pym Particles could potentially counter Batman's expertise and stealth - if not for the fact that his cowl possessed heat vision goggles. In addition, the Batsuit far outclassed the Punisher's suit. Not only is it strong enough to take most of what the Punisher could throw at him, but it also came equipped with extra gadgets that can counter Frank's arsenal."

Manny: "Heck, it's not like Frank is the first gun-toting vigilante he's ever dealt with. Batman has fought on-par with Jason Todd, whom he personally trained, and has also taken down a guy literally named Vigilante, who's basically DC's version of the Punisher. Once Bruce had a plan for victory, all he really had to do was wait for Frank to exhaust his time and resources."

Chelsea: "Cool."

Manny: "Oh come on! Get angry or something! This feels weird!"

Chelsea: "Hey, I can't help it if you choose someone as sexy as him!"

Manny: "...He's, like, 40."

Rick: "So? I'm pretty attractive for my age." (awkward silence) "What?"

(Music stops)

Chelsea: "Um, sure, Rick. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Rick: (sigh) "Thanks, guys."

(Cue: Unknown Theme)

Rick: "It was lights out for Frank Castle! The winner of this Battle Royale is Batman!"

Batman: "From this moment on... none of you are safe."

F.A.C.T.S.'s Final Verdict Edit



+Superior hand-to-hand skills.

+Wider and more unpredictable arsenal.

+Has experience taking on foes like the Punisher.

=Were pretty even in terms of strength, speed, and endurance.

-Most of his arsenal is non-lethal.


+Arsenal was more lethal.

+Is slightly faster due to being able to tag a speedster.

=Were pretty even in terms of strength, speed, and endurance.

-Not as smart.

-Not as experienced.


  • The connection between Batman and Punisher is that they are brutal vigilantes who often tangle with super powered beings with nothing but their wits and weaponry. They have both lost their families due to crime, and have opposing views on killing.
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